


Eh, Who Needs Love?

by AutumnPines



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Aroromantic Characters, Aroromantic Stanley, Aroromantic Wendy, Stanley is awkward but he tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 02:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14095410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnPines/pseuds/AutumnPines
Summary: Time and time again, romance has failed for both Stan and Wendy. Eventually, the two have an awkward conversation about their failed love lives. But hey, who needs love when you can have more fun picking locks and stealing diamonds?





	Eh, Who Needs Love?

Today was turning out to be rather strange.

It started out alright, it was only when Wendy was just hanging out with her friends before heading out to work and be fashionably late did things start to become...a little weird.

Wendy had been listening to Robbie chatter on about his new album until suddenly Robbie paused. Wendy glanced over only to see that he was staring at Tambry, who was standing next to Nate and Lee as they tried out a new handshake.

After a few seconds, Tambry looked up and smiled at Robbie, who instantly smiled back, his cheeks reddening.

Wendy blinked in confusion, wondering how a simple glance could make Robbie blush. She tilted her head, trying to think if there was a time when she blushed and smiled from Robbie looking at her.

Nothing came to mind.

On her way to the Shack, she couldn't help but ponder how Robbie and Tambry were actually in a good relationship and happy.

She had dated like what, at least six guys and none of their relationships lasted beyond three weeks, tops. They just never felt right, plus awkwardness always hagged at Wendy whenever the guys tried to have an intimate moment or kiss her. 

She just...didn't want it.

But wasn't she supposed to?

"Something on your mind, kiddo? Or do you like staring at the wall for ten minutes straight?"

Wendy flinched as the voice intruded her thoughts, bringing her back to reality. She turned her head and saw Stan leaning against his 8-ball cane, his eyebrows pointedly raised at her.

Quickly, Wendy allowed a casual look to slide in. "Oh, hey, Stan." 

"That's Mr. Pines for-" Stan began, his voice firm until he stopped, his expression considerate, and then shrugged. "Eh, you know what? I don't care. I've been called worse things."

Wendy rolled her eyes loosely, but then squinted at her boss as a thought struck her. Has Stan ever been in a relationship that has lasted longer than any of hers? She couldn't recall a time where he had not been slapped after trying to flirt, but still...

"Heya, so, Stan." Wendy started, trying to phrase the question in a non-weird manner. "Have you ever been in a relationship that lasted longer than a few weeks?"

"Um," Stan leaned back a bit, looking confused at the sudden turn in topic. "Whaddya' mean? Like a romantic relationship?"

At Wendy's nod, Stan's eyes traveled to the ceiling. "Uhhhh. Yes. I had girlfriend about forty years ago. That lasted for about a month, though. But hey, I did get married!"

Wendy gave him a skeptic look. "I don't think that creepy statue counts, Stan."

Stan slapped a hand to his chest, giving her an offended look. "I'll have you know that Goldie is fantastic! But nah, I wasn't talking about that. I got married to a gal once, until she tried to steal my car less than an hour later. Why are you asking sudden personal questions anyways?" 

Wendy bit her tongue, unsure on how to answer, or even if she should answer. Eh, this probably wouldn't cost her job. "Uh, so you know my ex-boyfriend, Robbie?"

"Ya' mean that creepy teen with black hair and skinny jeans?" 

"Um, yes." 

"Then sure, what about him? Do I have another reason to punch a teenager?" Stan cracked his knuckles, his face eerily eager.

"And that would be a no. Sorry." Wendy denied, a large part of her amused. "But um, anyways, Robbie and Tambry have started dating like a few days ago...and they're so happy? Like, they smile and touch each other a lot and I just don't get why?"

She sighed, frustrated with her lack of understanding. "And just-I don't know. I've never done that before and I've dated a lot of guys. It seems so weird to me for someone to just blush if another person looks at them. And it never felt right when someone tried to kiss me or something."

"Plus, everyone at the high school keep talking about who they like and whenever I say I don't like someone I get these looks. I don't see why I have to be with someone when I could just have some fun with my friends."

Unable to think of anything else to say, Wendy fell silent, and then started when she realized she just ranted to her boss about her confusion with relationships. Welp. At least it wasn't Mabel.

"Hm. Yeah, I see where you're comin' from." Stan spoke up nonchalantly.

"Wai-really?" That was not quite the answer she'd been expecting.

"Yup."

"Okay, noooo offense, Stan, but you uh, flirt with a lot of ladies. And didn't you try to hook up with Lazy Susan once?" Wendy questioned, confused on how Stan out of all people could understand her.

"Uh, yeah. But um, I'll admit, kid. I kinda always found it strange, too." Stan admitted rather haltingly, his eyes looking at everywhere but her. "Back in my day, uh, a lot of kids were talkin' about their girlfriends or boyfriends too, and I just was never interested in it. I did try it, to try and see what everyone was yappin' about, but it just didn't work out." 

He shrugged, "And well, I guess I still do try every once and awhile. Habits die hard, y'know? But honestly, I don't care for that mushy romantic stuff..." He trailed off, his expression steadily growing more and more awkward.

"So you've, never enjoyed being in a relationship?" Wendy cocked her head, interested.

"Well, it was nice and all being around someone I liked. But that someone always just expected something else from me that I guess I don't have." Stan reflected, shifting his hands on the cane. 

"Huh. Wow-that's, that's pretty cool." Wendy grinned, feeling relief that she apparently wasn't the only one that felt uninterested in being in a relationship. And to think that it was her boss she was relating to.

"Ha, thanks kid." Stan coughed. "But enough of this weird talk. I've already taught you how to pick high-quality locks right? 'Cause I've heard that there's a diamond in the bank downtown, and I think it's about time for you to move past shoplifting and onto committing a real crime."

Wendy's grin only stretched wider. "Sounds great to me. But I am not going to be the one to pay our bail."

"Bail?" Stan's eyebrows scrunched together. "Who said we were going to get caught?"

 

Later, while definitely driving more than sixty miles per hour away from the bank and wailing police cars, Wendy glanced over at Stan, who was laughing about how they managed to escape, and cleared her throat. "Hey, Stan?"

Stan stopped and looked over at her with a mischievous grin. "What's up, kid?"

"Thank you."

"Yeah, whatever, kiddo. Anytime."

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this was interesting to write! First time writing aro characters, so I hope I did alright! Thanks for reading!
> 
> I'm on tumblr! Username is autumn-pines I'd you want to find me!


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